The Fallacy of Fake Meat

Fake meat is loudly destroying the Vegan movement.

I’ve done an about-face on plant-based meat alternatives. I’m officially coming out as a vegan against vegan meat. It’s unnecessary, unhealthy, and demonstrably lavish. These hyper-palatable, high fat, oil and salt infused meat alternatives fly in the face of the humble, old-school vegan protocol that once gave human herbivores a unique physical, emotional, intellectual edge.

The traditional, Whole Food Plant-Based (WFPB) dietary guidelines of the pre-processed food vegan era has nearly become a relic of the past. Beyond Meat, Impossible Meat, Incogmeato, countless dairy free ice creams, cheeses, and a whole host of snacks plant-based junk food masquerading as “healthy and virtuous,” has crowded the center aisles of our grocery stores.

In the ashes of your local Co-Op arose a portly Phoenix of mass-marketed vegan junk food, destined to overtake the shelves of large supermarket chains all over the Western world.

Veganism went mainstream. We sold out in an exchange for greater influence, but instead we fell prey to the corporatization of food. We gave up on the idea of promoting behavioral change, and instead opted towards replacing the traditional foods of the Standard American Diet (SAD).

Veganism, as we knew it, is dead.

Humble Roots

The secret to old-school Veganism was its inherent austerity. The avoidance of meat and dairy products has historically kept vegans out of health trouble. Heart disease, hypertension, high LDL cholesterol, diabetes, obesity— we never used to have these problems. When you have to say “no” to all the usual tempting nutrient poor, calorie dense treats that permeate Western cuisine, it offers some protection obesity and other lifestyle related disease.

Basically, if you were of the vegan/vegetarian persuasion, then there was a lot of junk food that you simply couldn’t eat. Unbeknownst to many vegans, this was, in fat, their super power. The austerity and stoicism required for this degree of dietary restriction is what gave vegans their edge. It kept their waistlines effortlessly small, and their temperaments uniquely calm. This was our secret.

The rich, calorically dense, high-fat foods like burgers, hot dogs, chicken nuggets, cheese, cream, pastries, frozen deserts, and ultra-processed foods used to be off limits to us vegans, but those days are long gone. Now, if you want it, you can have it—even if you’re vegan. We don’t have to say “no” anymore. We can now enjoy all of the decadent dietary pleasures of the Standard American Diet.

By historical standards (in the post-Paleolithic era) a plant-based diet was considered a pauper’s diet. Most people ate a predominantly plant-based diet—primarily grain based. Most of the time that’s all the working class could afford. The ability to store grains for long periods of time was the biggest game changer. This led to a drastic reduction in famine. Civilizations were built on grains.

Asia has rice. America has corn. Europe and the Middle East have wheat. In the Andes, they have potatoes and quinoa. Starchy tubers are common in Africa and the Pacific Islands. And in tropical climates, fruit is plentiful year round.

The post-agricultural revolution diet of the general population, the diet upon which entire nations and civilizations were built, would have a macronutrient profile like this: high carb/low fat/moderate protein. Although it was not by choice, but rather, by economic circumstance, for thousands of years, carbs perpetuated the existence of humanity.

In the past, meat was consumed heavily only by royalty, the wealthy, the noble—basically, the economic elite. Gout, after all, was often referred to as “The King’s Disease.” Only the rich were fat. Only the rich, royal, and noble suffered diseases of dietary excess. A karmic consqence of living in excess— pain caused by the sins of greed and gluttony.

Things Have Changed

The tides turned in the post-industrial food revolution of the 20th and 21st centuries. With food processing and factory farming, we can now all afford eat like king and queens, even if we’re poor! And the result has been absolutely devastating. Humanity in the “developed world” is becoming increasingly fatter and sicker every year. Obesity is the biggest public health emergency that we face today. It is becoming increasingly clear that we will not survive as a species if we continue down this path.

“Nothing will benefit human health and increase the chances for survival of life on Earth as much as the evolution to a vegetarian diet.” —Albert Einstein

When Einstein said this, clearly he didn’t foresee the nutritional consequences of highly processed vegan/vegetarian foods, because, well, they didn’t exist at that time.

It’s safe to say that the plant-based sages of history like Albert Einstein, Benjamin Franklin, Pythagorus, Leonardo di Vinci, Mahatma Gandhi, Voltaire, Nikola Tesla, Buddha, Cesar Chavez (the list goes on), weren’t eating Impossible Burgers with Ben and Jerry’s Dairy-Free ‘Netflix and Chilled’ Ice Cream. KFC Beyond Chicken Tenders probably weren’t part of Einstein’s dream of a vegetarian world.

Clearly, this isn’t how we’re going to survive and thrive as a species. Only a balanced approach to public health and environmental concerns are going to get humanity out of the pickle that it’s in. Reducing carbon emissions, preventing deforestation, and regulating agricultural run-off, herbicides and pesticides are all important and noble goals, but we shouldn’t be sacrificing our health for a convenient, moderately helpful environmental solution. We can achieve greater results for our planet and for our collective health by avoiding mock meats, and instead focusing solely on the plants.

Nearly 80% of the world’s arable land is occupied for livestock purposes (grazing AND growing the grains that are fed to traditional livestock). Most people aren’t eating solely grass-fed steak, and if they were, we wouldn’t have enough land to accomplish such a task.

Regenerative agriculture—farms that incorporate livestock and crops in an eco-friendly, biodiverse way, have some substantial environmental benefits— but it isn’t a panacea for all of Earth’s environmental ills. This planet now has huge cities and huge populations, and all of those people need to eat too. The truth is that the vast majority of people are eating conventional, factory farmed meat. Sometimes we might spring for the grass-fed ground beef, the wild-caught fish, and the free-range eggs, but we have to stop pretending like that’s all we’re eating. Most of us only eat this stuff occasionally so we can feel better about ourselves.

And we certainly can’t turn a blind eye to restaurants—they’re usually using the cheapest ingredients possible. This includes sit-down restaurants too, not just fast food. Most restaurants care only about how the food tastes, not how it’s sourced. And if the restaurant IS sourcing their meat and dairy from small-scale regenerative farms, then they will certainly boast about it on their menu and charge you a lot more for it. If you want to eat healthy meat, seafood, dairy and eggs, it can get very expensive.

This is the problem that humanity faces. If we want to save our health, our planet, and our budgets, it’s going to take a drastic overhaul in how we eat. I’m calling for a return to dietary simplicity.

Food is Getting Too Tasty

“Fake meat,” as it is so antagonistically referred to by the paleo/keto/primal crowd, is essentially textured plant proteins (primarily from soy and/or yellow peas) combined with salt, oil, and a binding agent of some sort. Although nutritionally, it does have the benefit of being free from cholesterol, often these meat alternatives are even higher in saturated fat than actual meat. Ironically, high saturated fat consumption has been linked to high blood lipids. So if you’re eating an Impossible Burger because of your cholesterol problems, you might be shooting yourself in the foot. Gratuitous amounts of highly inflammatory seed oils are pumped into these mock meats in an attempt to make them hyper-palatable, and thus hyper-marketable.

Most children will eat this stuff without even batting an eye. It’s too easy. Many of these plant-based meats taste shockingly good—and you should be suspicious of any foods that fire up your dopamine receptors that easily. Think about the temporary high you get from eating potato chips, a greasy cheeseburger, or ice cream— that’s a high that comes with a hefty cost. With one bite, our pleasure seeking neurotransmitter pathways become hijacked. It’s a losing battle to even flirt with the idea of junk food. Food manufacturers and restaurants decided long ago to stop playing by the rules. Consumers are the victims of a cut throat food marketing landscape. They know what people want. It’s sugar, fat and salt. These ingredients are the cheat codes to your dopamine pathways, and food scientists are well aware of this.

Seeds of Division

Veganism is at risk of becoming completely politicized, and that is terrible news for the cause.

A plant-based diet based on economic circumstance was once considered a humble, working class way of eating—but now veganism is on a trajectory towards becoming a symbol of affluence, dietary excess, and economic privilege. On the Right, veganism has come to epitomize liberal naivety. This is because the Left has recently started weaponizing veganism a virtue signal for liberal guilt— a half-assed attempt at reducing one’s carbon footprint (all the while not making any noticeable sacrifices to one’s lifestyle).

This happens all the time in politics. Much like how the Neo-Conservative political movement of the United States hijacked and weaponized Christianity as a political tool, the Neo-Liberal political wing is trying to absorb the vegan voting block, a growing demographic, much like they did with the LGBTQ community and other minorities.

Identity groups are being tactfully absorbed by political parties, thereby further dividing us, willfully placing ourselves into sociopolitical boxes—identities that aren’t truly our own. This is the consequence of identity politics.

Unity, not division, is the end goal of the original vegan movement. From a philisophical standpoint, Universalism, harm-reduction, and an egalitarian view of our understanding of the soul/consciousness, is the foundation for the animal liberation movement. Ethical veganism is based on the Golden Rule— Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

The original ethic of veganism can be boiled down to this; “I wouldn’t want someone else to eat me, so I’m going to refrain from eating someone else as long as I have a choice in the matter.”

If it isn’t necessary to survive, thrive, and live healthfully, then it’s just sensory pleasure that we’re after—and personally, I don’t believe that’s a justification for taking the lives of others. Eating for survival is one thing, but eating animals just because they taste good…well, that doesn’t sit well with me.

We can’t hold ourselves to the same standard as our Paleolithic ancestors who were dying in their 20’s and 30’s.

A Return to Simplicity

Traditional, “old-school veganism” is a rebellion against reckless, wanton consumerism and food addiction. Vegans need to take a step back and look at what they are becoming. Tricking the masses into eating easy, convenient vegan junk food is not the answer. Whether you’re plant-based for health or vegan for the animals, there’s no need to eat this garbage. Just eat the whole plants. Stop trying to replicate meat and cheese with processed plant foods. If you want to be vegan, that’s great, but do it the right way.

Eating whole, plant foods in their natural form will not only save your health, it will save your food budget. With rampant inflation and pending food insecurity, now is the best opportunity to return to simple, cheap, healthy plant-based eating. Calorie per dollar, you can buy most organic grains cheaper than the cheapest factory farmed meat.

From a financial perspective and a health perspective, the answer is and always has been in the whole plants. When we eat the plant-based junk foods that huge food corporations keep churning out, we only give the anti-vegan movement more ammunition. It is our duty as vegans to be healthy and fit, because as soon as we let ourselves go, we become less effective in our advocacy. Nobody is going to listen to a fat vegan.

I urge my vegan readers to eat the way vegans used to eat—back when we were still thin.